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Shrek vs Baldi
What-if Death Battle Shrek vs. Baldi.jpg|Venage237 DrugsAreBadChildren.jpg|Jioto576 Description Two green parody characters who've memes, and not wanting to be other people's territory for reasons. Who will be a best green? Interlude Wiz: Anyway, now here we have... Why is this battle a thing? Boomstick: Looks like we gonna do this anyway, welp. Wiz: Actually I see the connections, they are both green parody characters who've been memes. Boomstick: I'll take it back, this will be fun! Wiz: Shrek, the big green ogre living in the swamp. Boomstick: And Baldi, the abusive math teacher! He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick! Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armour, and skills to find out who would win a... Death Battle. Shrek Wiz: Shrek, the ogre who lives in swamp. Boomstick: When Shrek turned 7 year old, his parents sent him off to live on his own, as all ogre do. He lived by himself in a swamp, so... SOMEBODY ONCE TOLD ME THE WORLD IS GONNA ROLL ME! Wiz: Okay so, Shrek lived in swamp for many years alone until he met Donkey. And then he met his future wife Fiona. Boomstick: Fiona is really beautiful for Shrek. Beauty ogre you know what I mean? Wiz: The fairy tail creatures were forced to move into Shrek's swamp by Lord Farquaad. To get Shrek's home back, Shrek and Donkey traveled to Duloc so they could get Shrek's swamp back. Boomstick: So he and Shrek make a deal, if Shrek can rescue Princess Fiona from her castle and brings her back to small Farquaad, Shrek will get back to his swamp. You know why Farquaad won't go rescue princess from dragon by himself? Because he's small hahahaha! Wiz: He survived getting beaten by a dragon and survive being thrown. He was smart enough to defeat a dragon and run away from dragon's fire. He can also smash through doors, uproot trees, take out armed knights, and survive falling through a roof. Boomstick: He can also dodge arrows shot from crossbow! Wiz: His fart is strong enough to kill people and his roar is also strong enough to push multiple people. Boomstick: He can jump, flip, and swing his way around environments to avoid obstacles. Wiz: He can scares away and defeats most regular people, can shatter glass and extinguish fire. Boomstick: He can tank lightning attacks from Fairy Godmother! Shrek also unaffected by metal skulls that can break chains. Wiz: He's been punched in the nuts several times and comes out fine. Boomstick: Then how did he managed to have a kid with Fiona? Wiz: Really, Boomstick? Boomstick: What I was just saying. Wiz: His burps is highly flammable, can be used as projectiles. Boomstick: Shrek is love, Shrek is life! Shrek: Well, I have to save my ass. Fiona: What kind of knight are you? Shrek: One of a kind. Baldi Wiz: Baldi, the abusive math teacher. Boomstick: Oh here we go, we talking about Baldi again. Wiz: Yes we are. Boomstick: Just like last time we did, in our very first episode? Wiz: Yes just like our first episode. Boomstick: Baldi will get mad if you get the questions wrong, he chases you with a ruler! Even in camping he gets a bear traps and a stick to kill or hit player with. Seriously when a player get stuck in bear traps, and the fire is out. Why the hell is Baldi still mad? I mean it's wasn't player's fault! Wiz: He might be slow, but he has speeds. He seemingly teleports short distances, depends on how many math problems his target got wrong. Boomstick: True... Wiz: The loud noises can distort his hearing and make him forget what he was doing. Boomstick: Baldi isn't a real fighter, he just chases and kill or hit a player with a damn ruler. Wiz: Well strangely enough, Baldi's facial expression while chasing the player, while heavily compressed and distorted, is incredibly neutral and not one of anger. Boomstick: He can easily withstand Gotta Sweep, 1st Prize, or the BSoda. Wiz: He uses a ruler for his weapon of choice. Boomstick: His ruler? Yeah it's measures at 13 inches, probably a sharper ruler we ever see, with that he can knock out or kill a player with it. Wiz: He is very intelligent at math, basically he hate it when player can't solve the problems. Boomstick: Man, sometimes it's hard to get away from him. Wiz: He believes math besides other subjects. Boomstick: He can change doors into wall when he goes crazy, he also has super human hearing from hearing the player all from one side of the school to the other and he can also hear every door you open watch out. Looks like Baldi doesn't need a hearing aid. Wiz: Yeah he does have Heightened Senses. Boomstick: Baldi is a dangerous teacher, killing you for getting answers wrong? Oh hell, run while you still can! Baldi: Congratulations! You have found all seven notebooks! Now all you need to do is, GET OUT WHILE YOU STILL CAAAN! Pre Death Battle Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set. Let end this debate once and for all! Boomstick: It's time for a DEATH BATTLEEEE! Death Battle Baldi was driving his bus all the way to swamp, he see a house. Then he decides to knock on door, the door open and it was Shrek. Baldi: Oh Hi! Shrek: Who are you and what are you doing in my swamp? Baldi: My name is Baldi, and I'd suggest you'd come to my schoolhouse! Shrek: Schoolhouse? Do I look like a kid to you? No! Unless I have kids, I can't go to your schoolhouse so bye-bye! Shrek close the door, which make Baldi angry. Baldi knock the door again, Shrek open the door. Shrek: What do you want? Baldi: You have made me mad! Shrek: Get out of my swamp now. Baldi pull out a ruler, Shrek notices Baldi is now a threat. Shrek: Alright, if it's a fight you wanted, come and get it. Shrek punch Baldi out of door steps and then both are ready to fight. Shrek throw a punch at Baldi, Baldi dodges and smack the ruler at Shrek. Shrek: The heck? Baldi tries to hit Shrek with ruler again but Shrek dodges and punches Baldi couple times. Shrek then toss Baldi, Baldi gets up and charges at Shrek. Shrek then kicks Baldi in guts and punches him single times. Baldi groans and hits Shrek with ruler. Shrek: Why are you hitting me with this ruler?! Shrek punch Baldi which make him slam into ground, Shrek then kicks Baldi in face. Shrek then lift Baldi and smashing him into ground several times, Shrek then toss Baldi. Baldi: Wow! You are so strong! Shrek: I've warned you, but you didn't listen. Baldi pull out a notebook. Baldi: 2 - 3 = ? Shrek: 1. Baldi: Amazing! 1 + 1 = ? Shrek: 2. Baldi: Wow, so ogre like you must be smart! 2 + 1 = ? Shrek: And that is 3. Shrek punch Baldi softly and ripping notebook in half. Shrek: Here come the big punch, 1, 2, 3! Shrek punch Baldi softly again, Shrek then uppercuts Baldi. Shrek with his two fists punches Baldi softly couple times and Shrek then manages to slam Baldi into ground. Shrek then grabs Baldi by the back and starts spinning him around with a Spinning Toss. Baldi got his head hurt really bad. Shrek: Had enough, you bald head? Baldi: I was... I was going to give you a... Prize! Shrek: Too bad I already have my prize. Shrek kicks Baldi's gut and lift him up, starts spinning him around with a Spinning Toss again. Baldi blocks Shrek's kick and smacking him with a ruler. Shrek grabs the ruler. Shrek: I'll show you a weapon, ruler lover. Shrek throw away the ruler, and Shrek softly punch Baldi which make him toss to tree. Baldi: Enough of this! This is taking way too far! Shrek: You started it, you threatened me with your pathetic ruler! Baldi charges at Shrek, Shrek quickly eat an onion and fires the torch on fire. Shrek then fart on the open fire, Baldi was burning a little. Shrek tackles Baldi and punches him single times, Baldi pushes Shrek and getting up slowly. But Shrek kicks Baldi's face and Baldi slowly groans. Baldi see a ruler on right side of him, Baldi was going to get his ruler but Shrek grabs it. Shrek: This ruler is sharp huh? Shrek then attempts to stab Baldi right in the face with ruler, Baldi then fell on his ground, the fire caught Baldi and Baldi's corpse body was burning. Shrek: It's shame that you couldn't stand against me, idiot. Shrek then return to his home, leaving the fire still burning the corpse. =Poll= Who will win? Shrek Baldi Draw Result K.O. Boomstick: I told you, Shrek is life, Shrek is love! Wiz: Shrek is stronger, faster, durable, better fighter and has more experience than Baldi. Shrek faced multiple Knights, Baldi's target were defenseless students who are probably young and yes Baldi's ruler can kill a person with one swing but Shrek can smash through doors, uproot trees, tank lightning attacks from Fairy Godmother and survive getting beaten up by a dragon. Boomstick: Also Shrek survives being thrown by dragon of course without injuries. Baldi isn't a real fighter, he just chase someone, while Shrek fought multiple Knights. By the way, Shrek also punches in the nuts several times and comes out fine. Wiz: Loud noises can distort Baldi's hearing and make him forget what he was doing. Boomstick: Hm, I should play drums or guitar or shoots guns that is loud and quickly hide it like nothing happened. Wiz: Sure, Anyways Shrek's roar is strong enough to push multiple people and his fart is also strong enough to kill people. Shrek was strong enough to defeat a female dragon and also outran her. Advantages: Shrek winner * Stronger * Faster * More Durable * More Experience * Better Fighter * Survive a beating from dragon * Tank a lightning attacks from Fairy Godmother * Smarter Disadvantages: Baldi loser * Smarter * Less Durable * Not a real fight but can chasing player * Long noises can distort his hearing and make him forget what he was doing * Ruler is his weapon of choice * Slower Boomstick: Somebody once told me Baldi would never stand a chance, and truly it's all ogre for Baldi. Wiz: The winner is Shrek! Category:"Comedy vs Serious" themed Death Battles Category:Bob6114 Category:'Video Games vs Movies' themed Death Battles Category:Colour Themed Death Battles Category:What-If? Death Battles Category:"Hero vs Villain" Themed Death Battles Category:Death Battles by 2 Different Companies Category:Fistfight Category:Completed What-If? Death Battles Category:What-If? Death Battles completed in 2019 Category:Bob6114/Halloween7's Season 1 Category:Joke Death Battles